Do you feel lost? Are there challenges in your life that seem insurmountable?
The past month I have had the opportunity to meet hundreds of people at conferences. Driven, hardworking, and fun people. Underneath the facade I could sense trepidation and fear, it was in their eyes.
I would find myself sitting in a chair in the lobby of a hotel next to someone pouring out their biggest fears. Some shared that they were leaving their jobs, “But don’t tell my boss over there.” Others said they wanted to move to a new city. One story resonated with me deeply, it was me 10 years ago.
For the sake of brevity, I will blend our stories.
My wife was promoted to her dream job. I sold my financial services company, home, everything and picked the kids up and moved 3500 miles. We told everyone it was for the job, but secretly we were hoping to fix the marriage.
Me and this stranger had different situations, but at its core we shared the same issues and challenges. Career jobs: gone. No longer the bread winner. No longer a banker. No place to go. No reason to dress up.
Oh, it’s fun at first. Get up and make breakfast and lunch. Take kids to school. Do laundry. Workout for a couple hours. Pick up kids drive around and make dinner. This routine seems enviable enough. But underneath, the wiring doesn’t fully support the change. It’s misfiring, not full on depression, but close.
It wasn’t until I realized Ego, Pride, and Identity were the real issues that I could move on. My supportive wife created time and space to let me figure it out.
The person I met wasn’t so lucky. They divorced 3 years after the move. 15 years later he is still lost. No drive, crushed ego, afraid, asking himself “What if I didn’t sell and move. At least I would have my career. I’m divorced anyway. Kids. That’s what made the move worth it. But they are out of the house now. Now what?”
Time to reinvent.
Have you been there? Maybe it was coming out of high school or college. Maybe you were fired, or the company went bankrupt. Divorce. What it is that forces you to reinvent?
How long did it take? Why?
There are only 4 tings you need to do to reinvent
- Identify the issues. Personal. Your own. Blame. Ego. Forgiveness are all a good place to start.
- Figure out your passions. What are they? Need help. Take a personality assessment ask friends and family. What lights you up ? Gets you out of bed and juices flowing.
- Commit. Commit time and energy. Singular focused hustle. This triggers the brain toward positive and breaks down the negative.
- Take action. Without action nothing get done and you have a greater chance of slipping into full on depression. Get up and do it. Do it now.
It takes time, focus, and discipline but you can do it. I did it. My new friend will do it, I’m going to hold him accountable.
Go do it. Game on!